Last night I received the bad news that my back injury is pretty serious. A MRI confirmed that my L4/L5 disc is ruptured and that significant pressure is being put on the nerve roots at that junction. This is not surprising news based on the pain I've had for the last 4 weeks, but it hit hard to see it on paper, undisputable. My doctor laid it out for me and stated surgery was likely.
To say it put me in a funk would be putting in lightly. I spiraled emotionally and felt the doom of "forever" with back pain or inevitable surgery. It's amazing how the light shed on a situation from one person can be different than that which is shed by another. My dear physical therapist bestowed a new outlook for me. Serious yet, but surgery? Not necessarily. We had a long talk today about options. I left feeling empowered and positive.
My normal positive nature has been shaken these last few weeks. Living in constant pain (except when medicated) takes it's toll on a person and I have a new respect for those who live with chronic pain. It has affected my ability to learn, study and maintain my emotional composure. Let's not even begin to talk about what my back pain has done to my children.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Wah. Wah. Wah.
I am not a complainer. I hate to think of how I must sound to all my CMST275 classmates, however, this has been a significant hurdle in my life this year. Being benched from running has been like taking away the medication from someone suffering a mental illness. Running is my therapy, my medication and my church. Without it, I've felt sad, tired and endlessly frustrated.
The most impactful gift from my physical therapist today?
"You will run again - I promise"
:) Positivity reigns!
I also suffered a back injury while deployed. It was probably the most emotionally draining experience I have been through. At first, the doctors had conflicting reports of what exactly was going on, but in the end, I had to finish my deployment with a "bum back." I started physical therapy last year and since, it has gotten much better. The pain is bearable, but diminishing and I can see the possibility of returning to running also. The only advice I can offer is stay positive. When I was down, it seemed like my injury got worst, but as I started to get my spirits up, my injury started to improve. The mind is a powerful thing; use it accordingly. I wish you the best in your recovery!
ReplyDeleteboth my mom and my sister-in-law has had significant back pain and both of them have had major disk problems. Especially my sister-in-law. I have seen firsthand how serious back pain can really bring a person down. I'm really glad to see that you had an empowering talk with your physical therapist and that you see some hope at the end of the tunnel. There are some people who have that operation, however, and it turns out to be just fine for them and they are able to go back to normal activity afterwards. Regardless I am so sorry to hear about this, and I'll be sending you warm thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHaving fibromyalgia, I can understand the chronic pain thing first hand. I have to agree with what Lorin said. When I focus on the pain and how debilitating it is, it always gets worse. When I stay active, watch my diet, and actively choose to get out of bed each morning, the pain is completely bearable. The mind can do amazing things to help heal the body.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, my brother in law did have the surgery and he still wakeboards, plays in a basketball league and is in better shape than he has ever been in his life. It is possible to recover, overcome it and be stronger than you were before.
I hope you get back to running soon. I'm not much of a runner myself, but I wish I was. I'm jealous of the satisfaction runners get from a good run. Good luck with your journey to feeling better! Listen to and trust your people. They want you to feel better, too.