Balance

There is no "one size fits all" choice when it comes to parenting, and what may seem appropriate to one parent may seem out of the question to another. I often find myself feeling guilty and second rate when I explain to people how long I have left in school. I have been diligently plugging away at my pre-requisites for over 2 years now but still have several classes left, not to mention the subsequent 2 years of nursing school. Why do I feel like because I am only taking one or two classes at a time that I am not a dedicated student?

I do not believe in putting my children in full time childcare. I realize there are families out there that have to do so because of money but we are not in that situation. There are benefits to having your children in childcare, but not full time. I refuse to have someone else raise my children so that I can be done with school sooner or work full time. I'm lucky I have a choice and I feel for those who do not. My son is now in kindergarten but my daughter attends two afternoons a week at an in-home daycare. The socialization is good for her but at 4 years old, her best teacher is mom (and dad). My kids don't understand the importance of my schooling. They do understand that they are my priority and that I am here for them whenever they need me. They see that I care enough about them to be involved in their education and contribute to community events surrounding our family. How can these investments be equalled by NOT being around them and involved?

So, why do my priorities of being a good parent (my sense of a good parent) have to compete with a priority of being a dedicated student? I know in my heart that I work hard at all I take on, but often it seems like, aside from parenting in general, most other things I do are never done as well as I'd like. Of course, it's not humanly possible to 100% of oneself to multiple things.

I ask myself often "What will have the greatest impact on my children?" and the answer is what I usually go with. Schooling has been hard as I do have to leave my children two evenings a week and squeeze in schoolwork at home whenever I can, but somehow I have been able to live with the decisions and scheduling of our activities.

Balance is something each parent has to find on his/her own terms. I believe that everyone is different and the only right and wrong answers are individually applicable. There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to parenting and that's ok. I do not compare myself to other parents and I hope that no one else does the same to me.

All the hard work and scheduling challenges I've faced this past school year will pay off in exactly one week from today when Spring 2011 quarter is over. If all goes as planned, I will earn A's in my two college courses and summer will be welcomed with a HUGE sigh of relief.